THE PURPOSE OF THE NEWSLETTER
This article will reveal to the readers what goes on inside the mysterious league of extraordinary writers: the editorial board. We start off with our editor, Svati Goyal. To many she may seem sweet, helpful and studious, but we are the ‘lucky’ few to whom her real personality has been revealed. She winds up at headquarters in a huff, about 20 minutes after the latecomers. We question her, asking where she was, and she diverts our enquiries with piles and piles of work, and with the usual cry of ‘you guys! The printer is coming today and we have finished NOTHING!’ At this point a few of the younger reporters have to calm her down, which is, of course, a Herculean task.
With 5 people holding on to her to keep her from fainting, Svati then collapses into a chair. She assigns work to the passing board members, and throws all the non-board members out of headquarters.
After Svati has promised us all that she is not going to collapse in a heap on the floor, her rounds begin…we do not mean, of course, that she changes anything we have written when walking around headquarters. She only glances at the computer screens, and checks whether we’re toiling under the numerous assignments we have been given. Then she sits right back down next to the air conditioner, and thinks up ingenious ways to torture us. Yes, that’s Svati. All the same, Svati is the only reason the newsletter actually runs. Without her frequent swooning, the rest of us would never be as responsible and dependable as we are today. So we owe all our numerous successes to our dear editor. WE LOVE YOU SVATI!!
(To be continued...)
Diva, Soumya, Mahi and Akbar (10)
Teacher’s Training Programme on “Environment
Pollution and Innovative Methods to Estimate
Various Levels of Pollutants”
“Is the Earth in danger? No….it has survived for over 4.5 billion years and will continue to do so. It is the human race that we are worried about!”
These were the haunting words of Prof. Arun Attri as he kicked off the morning session with a seminar on Environment: Essential Concepts. This was part of the teacher’s seminar being held on the 8th of August. Presiding over the event, was Jill Carr-Harris, the Secretary (Ex-Officio) of LEAD India. Her impassioned speech on the dire necessity to act on important issues such as Global Warming, expressed her ardent views on the subject of India’s development. The mid-morning session included an interactive seminar with Dr. Saumitra Mukherjee on the topic of water pollution. The subject of soil pollution was amply dealt with by Dr. A. L. Ramnathan. In the afternoon session, Dr. Krishan Kumar talked about noise pollution with interesting additions on the functioning of the sound level metre. The workshop was concluded by short presentations from two of Dr. Attri’s students at JNU: Kamna Sachdeva and Chumbamenla Jamir.
All in all, it was an enlightening session with some of the brightest minds from the School of Environmental Sciences, JNU.
By Svati Goyal (12)
The joys of being stuck in an airplane (Part 2)
Disclaimer: All events in this story are true. They may be fragments of various things that I have seen over the years combined together and might be a little over exaggerated but they are true.
I start packing up my things to get ready for landing when a sixteen or seventeen year old girl bursts into tears. Her father and her brothers coming rushing to see what has happened and in she (in between her heartbreaking sobs) tells them that the boy next to her (who she’s been talking to for the whole flight) has asked her where in Delhi she lives. The father lifts the boy (who is about eighteen years old) y his collar and is about to give him a thrashing when the crew (Completely frustrated by now) come rushing to help. The boy says that he has done nothing but the crew still has to physically restrain the father and his brothers. The captain (saves the day) by announcing that we are about to land and that everyone should take their seats. The father promises that they will resolve this matter later at Delhi and threateningly tells the boy that if he runs, they will find him. The flight (with a few bumps) arrives at the airport and I rush towards the exit (well not rush but follow the line) to the exit hoping to get out of the plane as fast as possible. However it is not as easy as I thought it would be. There are two (small and almost broken) buses waiting to take us to the terminal. One is completely full and extremely crowded so I go towards the empty one when I am told that it is for first class passengers only. I wait for another bus and it arrives pretty quickly however to my dismay this too is for first class passengers (even though there are none left) standing in the blazing heat I wait for the bus, which arrives around ten minutes later. Half the plane clambers into the bus falling all over each other. Upon reaching the terminal we go towards the immigration counter but are greeted by a mass of people waiting to get their turn. There are only two counters running but I notice that the rest are open and the officials are chatting to each other with not a care in the world. I am told that they are on their “lunch break” (which is odd since its only 10 in the morning.) We get into the shorter Q and after half an hour are almost through when we see a sign saying “Foreign passports only” We are quickly ushered towards the other Q. At this point I am totally frustrated and I know things can’t get any worse. For the first time in a very very long time they don’t get any worse, and after almost two hours of standing in Qs we are back in India. (Oh joy) …
By Bhavik Singh (9)
It’s raining fish!!!
The saying it’s raining cats and dogs now seems to be old, in Kerala it’s raining FISHHH!
When the dark clouds burst on Thursday afternoon, the kids of Manna-(a village in Kerala) came out to get wet, but instead of water, they saw pencil thin LIVE FISH falling from the sky.
Don’t believe us?!? Nor did we the first time we heard about this! But experts confirmed this miracle. There were so many of them that people were collecting upto 30 of these “Gifts from God” (as the locals claimed them to be) each. At first no one noticed, but soon people began to observe slushy objects on the ground flapping around for want of air.
There have been incidents of animals and crabs falling from the sky, but never actually live fish. Scientists say that high velocity winds sweeping the earth’s surface tend to pick up light objects including these fish. According to experts they stayed alive in the clouds and then finally came down with the rain. They also say that these look like parals, a regular fresh water lake and river variety. This is not an illusion, it’s not a hoax. Live fish and other things can actually fall from the sky! Believe us!!
By Vanshika Wadhwa and Kunal Datta (9)
The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed
(1st Prize- winning essay)
Mortal minds are like water, they take the shape of the container they’re in. Mortal principles are like ostriches, they bury their heads in sand when a challenge approaches. Mortal egos are like space, they are vast, infinite and without substance. Mortal promises are like the fog, they lifts when sunlight shines through.
In any successful regime, the stage is littered with an epic army, a Machiavellian, an advisor, a few orators, the chained renegade and a mindless pulsating mass going through the clockwork motions of life with a blind eye to the cancerous growth of despair spreading rapidly through every stoic soul. The very idea that thousands of people are controlled by one man or one elite group which is neither the smartest, nor the strongest of the lot is quite ludicrous. However, the fact remains that there have been and still are human conditions such as described above that have sapped and subjugated the economic and social strength of the masses.
An oppressor would need to possess no conscience (at least, not a particularly loud one), no confidence and an uncanny knack of always pre-empting the next move of the opposition. Still a dictator’s greatest power is derived from the facile doubts of a confused population. The general public has a tendency to believe their existence only if pointed out to them. The general aimlessness and discontent of the masses which is ever present only augments when the living conditions tend towards ‘utterly dismal’. A benovolent ruler would never have let the situation reach this point, a wise ruler would work towards it alleviation dent an oppressor will convince the masses that it is their fault, worsen the situation and remain fat rich, and even more insecure.
This historical trend boils down to base human nature. The human psyche is a dangerous playing field but when harnessed is the most potent weapon. Man is riddled with doubts about his goals, his beliefs and his working ethic. It is a fragile glass palace reinforced with the ego and a blow in the right direction will destroy the complete foundation. A man without a voice is like a dead seed sowed in an infertile field. An oppressor would work towards stealing the voice with which the oppressed would protest. That is done by manipulating the human mind which is on a perpetual basis of admitting its failure.
Heroic possibilities turned to sorry achievements, the emancipation from the yoke of the abscission of hope and the subjugated resign themselves to a life of complacent futility. An oppressor would work towards the destruction of every fiber of determination in the human mind, but only by germinating the seed of diffidence that exists in each oppressed man.
No one at the end of the line would dare to walk the edge, and no one living the existence of a slave would muster enough self respect to protest. Though some views try to show how when all is lost man rises to the challenge, but the truth remains, when all is lost, your worst enemy, guilt, will find some worse torture.
Men will search for a hero, will find a degenerate and then choose the path of an ignoramus. An oppressor will be that degenerate, who will murder the spirit of the man who turns a blind eye towards him. An oppressor will hail the death sentence for disobedience, bribes for resistance, promises for protests, anger for ridicule, and absolute devastation and ruin for the mind that pays him homage.
By Svati Goyal (12)
Aquarius: While flirting with a hippopotamus, you will laugh so hard you’ll choke to death.
Pisces: You will study for the wrong chapter of Physics, but will still do well. Unluckily for you, your Physics teacher will think that you have cheated, and will give you a zero. Good luck with that.
Aries: Travel is written all over your palms. You will go to Chhatisgarh for a hunting trip, but will end up at Palampur. Unluckily for you, this month, Krypton does not reign over your sign, and thus you will meet no one who wears his underwear over his pants.
Taurus: You will be exclusively chosen by the govt. of Delhi to protect the president’s hairpiece.
Gemini: You will go to a foreign land and meet your evil twin brother, but people will think that you are the evil one, and will banish you to the land of Palampur.
Cancer: You will be diagnosed for a deadly disease. Your hair will also fall out due to excessive chemotherapy.
Leo: You will meet with a man who has fallen off the edge of a cliff, survived and is hiding from the police. He will bear an odd resemblance to the man with no intellectual capacity and the ability to jump unnecessarily high who you fell for last month.
Virgo: You will win a beauty pageant and will win the title of Ms. Palampur. Unfortunately, the Cadbury’s people will think that you are a cow.
Libra: You will be blamed for the death of your Aquarian friends, and will be sentenced to 5 years in Mrs. Krishnan’s office.
Scorpio: You will get sudden urges to look up ‘supercalifragilisticexpialidocious’ in the dictionary, but will fail miserably. Your friends will think you are weird and will abandon you.
Capricorn: You will go on a field trip, and get divided into pairs. Since you are too popular, you will not get a partner, and will be left alone to the hands of embarrassment.
Sagittarius: You will have a race with a man eating tiger, and at the end of it, you will be eaten. R.I.P.
By Anandini Rathore, Kunal Datta, Ashrika Kohli, Vanshika Wadhwa (9)
The Asian Domination of Animation
Flash kicker, Ranma ½, Ninku, Full Metal Alchemist, Dragonball Z, Pokemon and even one about Hanuman, we are in the animated era. This is the age where real humans are taking a back seat to Avatar and a hundred shows like it. With their mouths and voices in perfect unison and their abnormally large eyes as well as their tendency to think out loud (probably done to keep mouth movements to a minimum), Anime, as it is called has surely taken the world by storm.
Nowadays, every cable network has to have its share of animated cartoons. Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network and the ever so famous Animax are just a handful of the channels that show these cartoons. From the fast paced football action of Flash Kicker, to the air bending of Avatar, they have captured the imaginations of many.
By Soumya and Akbar (10)
“Hey ! Look at that dead fly, its moving !!”
Anonymous, would you like to contact Ghostbusters?
“Jon Bon Jovi is Bon Jovi’s dad right?”
Sonya Bhan, Maybe he is his great uncle!
“Is she fairer or am I darker?”
Megha Rawla, now that’s a toughie!
“Who is the best tennis player you know of?”
Tushar Aneja, try watching ESPN once in a while!
“What will you do if I move your house to Kerela?”
“I’ll bring it back to India”
Tushar Aneja, pay attention in geography next time!
Does Karanvir Singh know his music? The past few weeks, we patiently sat with this very musically inclined character, and asked him some questions related to music band names.
So here it is, – the ode to Karanvir Singh, his music, his humour, and his vivid imagination (not to forget his wonderful habit of carrying little Gaurhari Sanghi on his shoulders and running all over the Senior School building).
1. So what do you think R.E.M. stands for?
“Really Enlarged Mucus.
2. And P.O.D.?
“Precipitating Orange Dog.
3. What about A.B.B.A?
”Are Black Bandits African?
4. What’s the first thing you think of when you hear AC/DC ?
A Child’s Diaper Change
5. And RATM?
Rare Anancondas That Mingle
Remember him? Chander Paul!
For devastated fans here’s a little consolation in parting: The authors of this article, do know what the names of these bands really mean..
R.E.M - “Rapid Eye Movement.
P.O.D- “Payable On Death
A.B.B.A. - It’s an acronym from the initials of the first names of the band members
AC/DC - Alternating Current/Direct Current (from the back of Angus and Malcom Young’s mother’s sewing machine.)
R.A.T.M- Rage Against The Machine.
R.H.C.P. Red Hot Chili Peppers.
So here’s a thought for you : don’t call yourself a crazed fan before knowing your abbreviations!
Mahi Titus (10) and Sara Chatterjee (9)
It is a matter of great pide that eleven sudents of present class X of our school have been awarded Open Merit Junior Science Talent Scholarship for the year 2005-06. This examination is conducted by the Science Branch of Directorate of Education. A total of 150 students from all over Delhi are awarded this scholarship. Six students from our school are placed among top 100 students and thus are eligible for higher scholarship amount. They are-
Natasha Jha, Siddharth Banerjee, Parthasarthy Penna, Ragini Ahluwalia, ShellyThareja, Shreya Singhal
Those placed between 101 &150 rank are- Rohan Jain, Rochisha Shukla, Nikhil Ledlie, Rishi Sikand, Sonal Narang
· Why are there so many Johnsons in the phone book? They all have phones
· What do John the Baptist & Winnie the Pooh have in common? Their middle name.
· What does Mozart do now that he is dead? He decomposes....
· Two sausages are in a pan. One looks at the other and says “god it’s hot in here, and the other sausage says “OH MY GOD IT’S A TALKING SAUSAGE!”
· What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing stupid, apples don’t talk
· There was a lawyer that was talking to his client who just committed murder. He said “I have some good news, and some bad news. The bad news is that you’re getting the electric chair.” His client said “That’s terrible!! Well, what’s the good news?” The lawyer said “I got the voltage lowered.”
· What is the last thing that goes through a bug’s mind as it hits a windshield? His butt
· What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work? A stick
· Famous last words of a mafia hit man... “Who put the violin in the violin case?!”
By-Jahan Nargolwala (10)
The class 11 love affair
It is not an unusual sight to see Ms. Krishnan walking purposefully towards the class 11 alcove to enlighten us with words of wisdom. Sincerely, I am not trying my hand at sarcasm, the words are truly wise yet how much we listen to them does depend. So whether it was broken clocks we are talking about, or graffiti on the class boards, we’ve been told off for it all. Long hours were spent while listening to the authorities telling us how to improve and why we should improve.
In the past, our class has successfully gained the title of the worst class in the school and no matter what we are told some things never change. It is this eternal love affair between the authorities and class 11 that makes one’s life so interesting. Everyday one can look forward to a volley of shouts, a pile of reprimands and a load of worldly knowledge. Perhaps in the three month break, we were sorely missed and now we are constantly showered with love.
My aim was not to gain sympathy from the rest of the school, yet it is a plea to show ‘the authorities’ that we are not all that bad. Like all other love affairs this is one which makes our life worth living and helps us to look forward to a new ‘adventurous’ school day.
By Arushi Chak (11)
Please forward all your suggestions and feedback to firstname.lastname@example.org. Feel free to contribute articles and reviews via this email id.
Anandini Rathore, Ashrika Kohli, Bhavik
Singh, Kunal Datta, Sara Chatterjee,
Vanshika Wadhwa, Akbar Iqbal, Avanti
Gupta, Diva Gujral, Jahan Nargolwala,
Mahi Titus, Soumya Dasgupta, Tarunima
Prabhakar, Akanksha Chawla, Amba Kak,
Arushi Chak, Ria Sen, Saira Dayal, Minhaj Adil,
Jaagriti Seth, Nakul Dev, Nivedita Venkateish,
Samad Ali, Saranya Misra
Sports Desk : Arjun Srihari
Editor: Svati Goyal