What do you call a person whose face is flushed, whose body is drenched in sweat, whose knees are about to give way, and who looks as though he is about to wet his pants? That’s right, it’s a person who’s about to give a speech in public.
Public speaking is not for the faint hearted. There is more to it than just having an opinion. You have to be able to make people look, listen, and crave for more. Don’t feel up to it? Then here are some things that we discourage: -
1. Winning the Miss Universe/Miss World Title – So you’re pretty, you support world peace, you love animals, you’re a nature freak, you’d like to help deliver third world nations from debt, you plan to give away your prize money for the education of underprivileged children (or so you want us to believe). But you have to be able to tell the world of your “benevolent” intentions for us to believe them. Sorry girls, being a pretty face is not enough here – you have to be able to show the world what lies behind the overdone makeup.
2. The Nobel Prize – So you realized after years of research that 2+2 may actually be equal to 8477821538237823738648274632 (one of the authors of this article is currently also working on that theory). Your books are the kind that lie on an intellectual family’s shelf, the pages untouched by any human hand, coated with a layer of dust - sure, you deserve that Nobel Prize. But what happens after you receive it? The media, the speeches, the lectures.. If you can’t handle that, if you’re timid and lack confidence, sorry but maxing that Physics test of yours next week won’t lead you anywhere.
3. Teaching – You know your subject, you claim that it’s your passion, all the facts you know are rearing to come out of your mouth and be learnt by “eager” students. But the moment you open that mouth of yours, everyone falls asleep. You communicate your facts in any random order, you cannot control your “less interested” students – you might want a change of profession.
4. Speaker of a political Party- This is a big no no. To accomplish this job you need to be able to make statements on behalf of your party whenever they are caught in a scandal (which will be quite frequently). It’s not only about your verbal skills but also your sentence structure just in case you’re... you know misquoted and start a civil war or something.
Not wishing you to wail and tear your hair out after reading our enlightening article, we also decided to include some things we can do that do not require the art of public speaking.
(1) A Grammy (2) An Oscar (3) A Golden Globe Award (4) A Bafta Award (5) A Tony Award
“How?” you might ask, mouth agape, eyes shining with desire. Well, you’re probably imagining going up to a stage in front of thousands of people (whom you don’t even know) and thanking God, your parents, your various producers/directors etc (whom they don’t even know).
But guess what, it’s not that hard! As long as you don’t forget your siblings, your great aunt Mariam and your puppy dog Biscuit, without which you couldn’t have got this far,
you’ll be all right. And in case of an emergency, crying always works.
Public speaking comes from the heart.. or so they say. To make them believe it, you have to act like you believe it.
Mahi Titus (X) and Sara Chatterjee (IX)
The First Prize Winner for the Middle School English Poetry Writing Competition…
On the way…
I was walking down the lane one day,
And I bumped into God on the way.
He’s no big person, as tall as me,
Enrobed in white, blossoming with glee.
His hair was knotted, a few strands flying,
His soft eyes bore tears, but he was not crying!
“Hello, my child,” He said to me,
His chest puffed out proudly.
”Come, let us leave for the sky,
To this earth say your last goodbye.
For your time has come, you mustn’t wait,
As you are Heaven’s newest bait!”
I listened calmly, but what to say I didn’t know,
To my home or the sky, which way should I go?
My end has come so fast? How?
I am still seven, should I die now?
My head was clogged, confused was I,
Without thanking my loved ones how could I die?
“What happened, young one, are you afraid?
Well let me tell you, there’s been a fair trade!
I made a baby, a new life,
He has been sent to Oliver’s wife,
With his coming, you are going. Don’t be sad!
For you have made me make Oliver a dad!”
By Nikhil Pandhi, (VIII)
The repercussions of the drop,
A single insignificant drop,
Stop until they hit the rock,
And even then they do not stop.
As the repetitions of an act,
Are multiplying constantly,
Unless we begin to use pure tact,
But still they don’t cease completely.
An undue act mustn’t be committed,
For how disastrous the ripples may be,
Can never be exactly calculated.
They are thus unstoppable, even tactfully.
Improbable as a drop may seem,
The ripples are always a seemly find.
Henceforth an act should be well thought,
Before being dropped into the water.
Never drop your thoughts asunder,
For they may just fall into the water.
A ripple stretches far and wide,
For a sort of ripple is a tide.
The repercussions of the drop,
A single insignificant drop.
Stretch far until they hit the rock.
And even then they do not stop.
By Kunal Dutta (IX)
My first day at harvard
It is 7 AM. I have woken up in my hotel room. I look out of the window to see people rowing and kayaking on the beautiful Charles River against a bright sky. My father remembers his days of sculling team in school. I look back on what I had done yesterday. I had seen MIT and had a wonderful learning experience with students of diverse backgrounds. It was a 5 minute walk from my hotel on Memorial drive; today my journey is to the right of the hotel to the Harvard Summer School.
I order my breakfast of blueberry pancakes with hot chocolate. I am sitting here 12 hours away from home, from India. I get my bags and check out. I tell the porter that today is going to be a defining day in my life. He tells me it will be a wonderful experience. I sit in a yellow cab and the cab driver does not know very good English, as he is Nigerian, He says, “Heybra, where to today?” I ask him to take me to Harvard, as I gaze at lush and green Cambridge from the window of the car. The domes and monuments appear even more fantastic viewing them from this close.
I am eager to catch my first glimpse of “Stoughton Hall” where I will be staying for the next 8 weeks along with other students of my age. As I reach I see that it dates back to 1850 and has red brick walls. I have been assigned a large room on the 3rd floor with a fireplace in the middle. A boy is sitting in my room settling his books and unpacking. I am pleasantly surprised when he turns to me with a bright smile and says, “Namaste!” Rob is with his grandparents who live in Boston and so he is very clued-in about the whole city.
A minute walk from my dorm is Harvard I look out and see green and lush Cambridge Hall, where I will study about demand, supply, elasticity... I had to have dinner at 5:30 pm in Annenberg Hall, that’s right 5:30 pm! I think to myself, that is tea time! We all hung out in the dorms after dinner. As I lay on my new bed with my eyes closed, feelings full of joy, fear, uncertainty, elation and a sense of accomplishment bring me into sleep.
Aditya Kehr (12)
FORWARDING THE BOREDOM
Seeing that my hotmail account has more than 50 unread messages is not an unusual sight for me. Unfortunately most of them aren’t from my long lost cousin trying to find me, or the conformation that I have bought an orangutan but results of amazing boredom. For those who are not enlightened enough to guess what I am talking about: these mails as known as forwards (or chain mails). They are the mails, which fill up our inbox and are complete rubbish. After receiving hundreds of these in a day I decided to actually spend some time and do some research. Surprisingly there is no such thing, as an email tracking program and Red Cross will not pay 10 cents for every mail I forward. The kid with cancer is now 25 years old and is absolutely fine. He does not want any more get well soon cards. If there is a dead girl killing ever “non forwarder” then we should all be dead atleast six times. (That’s around 16000 times for me by the way). Unless you are a strong believer in Internet voodoo you will not be found dead tomorrow morning with nails punched through your eyes. There is no snail that will walk across the screen and proclaim my true love. Oh and speaking about true love don’t tell me to wish for something scroll down and then type
>>>>I said stop!!!
I did actually stop the first time you know. I’m not THAT dumb or imaginative. Oh and the girl I like will not make out with me tomorrow just because I spent my precious time forwarding a stupid email to her and fourteen hundred other people. She might actually say thank you but that’s pretty much it. There is no such virus that transmits from a computer to humans and if god has to send me a message he will make my bushes explode before he actually picks up a computer to do it.
So for all those people who are “vela” enough to create chain mails or forwards go down to your local store and buy a computer game for yourself. I will reimburse the money you spent just stop sending me forwards!!!
Oh and you must type out this article on your computer and send it to 2,356 people in the next 2.8 seconds or you will turn blue and go deaf, and your house will burst into flames and you will turn into a hairdryer. That’s pretty much it I think.
By Bhavik Singh (IX)
1st May, 2006 A.D
Aries March 21 - April 19
Years after losing friends and family members to the obsession, you will finally admit that your life-long goal of becoming the Pythagoras of isosceles triangles is not worth the trouble.
Taurus April 20 - May 20
The title of World’s Greatest Escape Artist will be passed from Houdini to you this week, after you escape not from handcuffs or a straight jacket, but from a loveless marriage with only the aid of vodka.
Gemini May 21 – June 21
You must be weary of your spouse and drag queens with long toenails or both together as such chemistry is common.
Cancer June 22 - July 22
You will …. Ummm…How do I say this… Be tortured for 16 hours and shot in the head.
Leo July 23 - August 22
This month you should not eat more than 6.236 grams of sodium biphosphate acid or your hair will become white and you will eat grain for the rest of your life..
Virgo August 23 - September 22
This month you will meet an elephant in a large red bikini and befriend a cockroach and call him ‘duckie’.
Libra September 23 - October 23
You may think you’re deaf but you should take out the earbuds and check again…
Scorpio October 24 - November 21
The stars hold nothing but discomfort and pain for you this month. You will call your Maths teacher “Mummy dearest” by mistake.
Sagittarius November 22 - December 21
The stars speak the truth when they say that your significant other will metamorphosize into a baboon while he/she sleeps.
Capricorn December 22 - January 19
A romantic hot-air-balloon ride will quickly sour when it becomes clear that you and your husband are guinea pigs in a dangerously amateurish meteorological experiment.
Aquarius January 20 - February 18
The results of next week’s medical exam will send a chill up your spine, or at least they would, if you were able to feel anything from the neck down.
Pisces February 19 - March 20
Beware of chemicals labeled H2O as they may result in loss of a VERY VERY vital organ. Not much of a loss for you though..
New astrologers on the Ed. Board : Sara Chatterjee, Bhavik Singh, Ashrika Kohli,Vanshika Wadhwa (IX)
“Can’t she go die sometimes?”
Weighty demands, Karishma Khanna.
“Have the kittens magnified?”
Umm..I really doubt they’ll do that…Anonymous
“I can’t eat snacks before meals, but I can eat them after meals.”
Restaurants must come up with appetizers after dinner and deserts before For… well, Anonymous
“Because he doesn’t have enough money, he should increase his family!”
Devanshi sure needs some help, from her salary members in looking for a dictionary!
“A termite is called a bhichu in Hindi, right?”
“No a Bhichu is called a scorpion in Hindi.”
Avanti Gupta and Karishma Khanna, lost in translation.
“Ladyfinger is the French name for French fries right?”
Anonymous, Don’t tell that to McDonald’s; they might change their recipe!
“What angle are you listening from?”
Perhaps the same lines you are thinking along…Karishma Khanna.
Anonymous: “I didn’t cry!”
Nivedita Venkateish: “But did tears come out of your eyes?” And crying would be…..?
"What is cheesecake made of?”
Suchita Salwan, CHEESE perhaps?
An Ode to the Graffiti in the Physics and Chemistry Laboratries
Some people think they know what God is all about. Guess what, they don’t. We, students of Vasant Valley on the other hand, have had a one on one encounter with God, and we can say this with conviction.
Take into account the Graffiti in the Physics and Chemistry Labs, for instance. The tormented souls, with their main inspiration being boredom, churn out these marvellous masterpieces, to escape the drudgery of the lesson. One of the tables, in one of the labs, for instance, screams:
“Tired of getting those high marks?
Bored of being the topper?
Join ********* classes
"Marks se no marks, AB SUCH MEIN POSSIBLE!!!”
“Crucification is less painful than Ch*******.”
I mean, what connection does the ghastly quality of Britney Spears’ music have with the Viscous Drag? I can comprehend the fact that both of them are, well, for lack of better words, hardly what I would describe as “FUN”, but THAT’S WHERE THE SIMILARITIES END!!
Isn’t it sad how jocks, artists and musicians are worshipped in this institution, but the hidden talent of these graffiti artists is yet to be discovered, if not appreciated? They are merely bored souls, craving just to carve out a path of their own on this planet we call Earth.
Fortunately for us, THEY make it passably survivable.
By Akanksha Chawla and Ria Sen (XI)
Note: Once again, we mean no offence to Graffiti-ers, or, well, to Physics or Chemistry as subjects. They are pure, unadulterated FUN. (!?)
A pastime in the Eighteenth Century played by gentlemen – today cricket has evolved into a modern day sport. Competitiveness and rivalry are the two pillars that differentiate it in the Twenty-first Century.
Clearly, it is a sport played not only by gentlemen. Cricket today is watched by millions of fans and plays an important role in politics, advertising and TV ratings.
Though the modern version of the game; rife with sledging; allegations of match fixing; doping scandals etc. – it still continues to instill values and ideals envisioned when the MCC and Lords; the Holy Land of cricket formulated the rules of the game. Cricket is eagerly followed by millions of fans, and instills and inspires character in the youth of today.
Hatred and prejudice, triumph and disaster – those two impostors; are cast aside when the elite ‘Gladiators’ enter the ‘Coliseum’ to the roar of their adoring fans.
Victory, Defeat, Passion, Courage and Determination on the field, are what draw the endless throngs who support their ambassadors of the sport. What other sport but cricket could prompt two nations like India and Pakistan at each others throats; to cast aside their differences to witness which team prevails in a simple game played by 22 men, instead of two armies of soldiers!
It is easy to comprehend why Cricket plays a major role in shaping the character and spirit of sportsmanship in School. It builds character, instills humility in victory and correspondingly graciousness in defeat. Most important of all it inculcates the right attitude –which is often lacking in today’s generation.
That is why it is imperative our School takes Cricket a lot more seriously.
We have the equipment, grounds, as well as the potential and skills to play. However that is not enough. Our players must imbue a passion for the sport, a desire to exceed and do their School proud. Most important of all is to develop the right attitude towards the game and to develop teamwork.
Matches could be organised more frequently to build up valuable match experience and match temperament. Considering that there are so many VVS parents willing to give of their time to coach and provide match practice, there is no issue in terms of support.
Until these steps are taken, it is doubtful whether VVS will ever have a team worthy of competing in cricket tournaments with credit; or to make a mark amongst the top cricket playing schools today.
These may sound like trifles, but to quote Leonardo Da Vinci: It is trifles that make perfection, and perfection is no trifle!
By Arjun SriHari (XII)
Anandini Rathore, Ashrika Kohli,
Bhavik Singh, Kunal Datta, Sara Chatterjee,
Vanshika Wadhwa, Akbar Iqbal, Avanti Gupta, Diva Gujral, Jahan Nargolwala, Mahi Titus,
Soumya Dasgupta, Tarunima Prabhakar,
Minhaj Adil, Jaagriti Seth, Nakul Dev,
Nivedita Venkateish, Samad Ali, Saranya Misra
Sports Desk: Arjun Srihari
Editor: Svati Goyal